words that work

When I do something that stimulates pain in another person and they tell me about it, often the trajectory for me is generally the same; I start out thinking that it’s all the other person and none of it is my fault. I protect myself and place all the blame elsewhere. Even in talking to [...]

I have noticed a pattern of disconnection that occurs when I am really exited to communicate something. Often this pattern shows up when I have an insight that I am impassioned about and want to pass along because it has great meaning for me. It generally is an insight that has not been obvious until [...]

Interpersonal relationships provide an ongoing arena in which to practice NVC mediation skills, as well as a place to see how old patterns show up and make new choices in our behavior. Since much of this learning is about patterns that are habitual, it often takes some time to first notice the pattern and then [...]

It’s easy to demonize the bully; that kid or adult who bashes another person because they are gay or straight, poor or rich, white or black or brown, Christian or Muslim or Jewish. When we do so, however, we disconnect not only from that person, reducing the likelihood that we can intervene in a way [...]

I was sitting in a café in Warsaw, in a work meeting, with tears streaming down my face. I had just watched the video of Ft. Worth City Councilman Joel Burns genuinely sharing from his heart about his experience, with a plea to youth who are being bullied and contemplating suicide to stick around, that [...]

The following is an excerpt from the new book, Words That Work in Business, published by PuddleDancer Press. We all face difficult conversations in the workplace: criticism from our boss, a conflict with a client, a co-worker we find irritating, a subordinate who submits incomplete work—these all might entail a conversation we do not look [...]